It's the Most Stressful Time of the Year

Sing it with me now....It's the most stressful time....of the yeaaaaar!! ;0)
Really....I cannot believe how stressed I have been over this wonderful wonderful wonderful time of remembrance that my SAVIOR was born. I think it's stressful to me because that "I have to please everybody" thing kicks in. NO other time of the year to I feel I have to please EVERYBODY....I feel quite confident in being who God made me....being directed to do what He wants me to do....for who HE wants me to do...and it usually does not encompass EVERYBODY all at once. But then Christmas comes along....and my heartrate increases...I break out in a sweat....and I feel like I am going to vomit. I feel this intense pressure that I have to BUY something for EVERYBODY for Christmas, or they will think I don't love them...and I don't know about you, but we didn't get one of those wonderful tree's out in the back yard that you can just go pick money off of....the Lord provides for us....but again, we are not "made of money". It gets so bad for me, that I look at what I have gotten my own children and feel like I am letting them down. I have a sickness....a sickness that is at it's peak at Christmas time.

WELL NOT ANYMORE SATAN!!! I have determined that I am NOT and let me repeat NOT going to let the devil have the victory over me on this one. We all know Christmas is not about the presents....we all know it's not about how much we spend on each other....but somehow, the enemy sneaks in and makes it all about those things....we need to rewind our minds and remember....AS WONDERFUL AS PRESENTS ARE....IT IS NOT NOT NOT WHAT CHRISTMAS IS!!!

Here is what Christmas is to me: Christmas, first and absolutely foremost, is about one of the most wonderful events to ever happen in human history....our Savior gave up HIS throne in heaven....He humbled Himself....and was born, born to do a job here on earth....so we can go to heaven without having to do anything but believe and accept HIM. I know we know that, and kind of skim over it this time of year...but REALLY.....think about it....HE WAS IN HEAVEN WITH GOD....HE HAD EVERYTHING.....AND HE GAVE IT ALL UP....WHY....BECAUSE HE LOVES US!! BECAUSE HE KNEW WE NEEDED A SAVIOR...SOMEONE TO SAVE US FROM THE WRETCHEDNESS OF SIN!! THAT should be our focus. Not presents, not getting presents, not giving presents. I am not saying...don't give gifts...I am saying don't be so focused on giving gifts and pleasing everybody that we forget THE GIFT. We have gotten so far off track....and we need to get back. And second...it's about coming together with family and friends and loving on each other and creating memories with each other...that is a great great gift.

I DEEPLY LOVE EVERY friend God has placed in my life....but I cannot afford to buy something for every one of them...no matter how much I want to. We have determined, Erik and I, that we have to scale back...and we are starting that this year, please know that just cause you don't get a gift from us, does not mean we don't love you...WE DO!!

So, I am changing my "Most Stressful Time of the Year" back to.... "It's the Most WONDERFUL Time of the Year!" I am taking back my heartrate...and wiping the sweat from my brow and holding down my cookies.. :0)

Hope this is not too much ramblin on...have a blessed day!

Change

I have not been here posting in a while....partly because I have been going through some things, then we had our retreat, then, as always, life seemed to explode in activity....making little time for sitting down and really thinking about what I might like to post. Well...as I sit here, only one word comes to my mind....CHANGE. It's amazing to me how when we are young adults, right out of high school, we feel so grown up....so adventurous....so "I can do anything"....then as we get a little older, we realize "I can't do as much as I thought I can do"....we start getting a better grasp on consequences to our actions.....the bills need to get paid again this month.....are my kids healthy....you know...REALITY! But.....every now and then in our lifetime there is a change. You can feel it coming on....sometimes it's confusing to you why you feel differently about something, or why you just flat out feel different. Sometime (a lot of the time) we fight change....not the normal fighting of stepping out of our comfort zone kind of change...but the "my whole mentality of life is changing" kind of change. I know I know...we are always changing, but sometimes that change is so impactful in you personally, that it takes you by surprise and your not quite sure what to do with it. I am not leading up to some big thing that has happened in our lives or anything like that. As a matter of fact, I would say, things are as they pretty much always have been....and I am blessed with the life God has given me. My change right now is more of a inner change. We recently took our kids on a ten day trip to see my sister in Stockton, and then down to Disneyland for three days, then back up to Stockton to have Thanksgiving. It was a nice trip....and I always love to see my sister and her family....but when I got home...I realized I had changed. My husband and I have always been pretty spontaneous people...just getting up one morning and deciding we want to take a drive to nowhere and find something fun to do with the kids at nowhere. It has not been uncommon for me to decide about a week in advance that I will pack up the kids and head to Stockton just on a whim...I have this sense in me though, that those days are starting to come to a close. Not that there won't be trips anymore...or spontaneous local road trips.....I am still married to a very "busy" kind of guy. But I guess what I am saying is my focus is different. I remember when my Grandma Ella May was alive, she once said to me that I would never be happy settling down in one place, I would always have to move on eventually. She was only speaking a characteristic about me, but I remember it kind of hurt my feelings (I don't know why)....I think she was right though. Right until now. I have an overwhelming sense of settling down. Staying "home"...not doing a lot of traveling...just the normal traveling up to Medford...and still to Stockton...but much more planned out in the future. I think I can pinpoint what it is...and I am sure I have blogged about it before...but I am gaining from the Lord, an overwhelming sense of contentedness and peace, and an overwhelming amount of love for HIM. Being able to let go of anything and everything in your life and really handing it all over to HIM....including what tomorrow may bring....it is so invaluable....I wish I could truly express what I am trying to say....well...God knows.
I hope everyone is having a truly blessed holiday season....and I hope to be here posting more.